Tuesday, January 15, 2008

your father is a sweet old man, it's hard for him to understand

In this country, we tell a certain story about homosexuality: We believe that people who come out as gay almost always stick with that gay identity for the rest of their lives. Lisa Diamond’s research reveals that - at least for some females - that story might be wrong.

She followed dozens of women for 10 years, as they graduated from college, worked their first jobs, fell in love, changed their minds, and tumbled into the arms of new partners. Most women’s behavior had little to do with the “gay for life” story. Some switched their sexual identity many times. In fact, when asked to define themselves as “gay,” “straight” or “bisexual,” a number of women refused to take any label at all.

About one-fourth of the women reported that their choice of sexual partners had nothing to do with gender. “Deep down,” said one woman, “it’s just a matter of who I meet and fall in love with, and it’s not their body, it’s something behind the eyes.” These women often had no words for the way their hearts were wired. (…)

There’s long been a stereotype about women who say, “I don’t know if I’m a lesbian, but I have this incredible attraction to my best friend Amy.” The classic response is everyone rolls their eyes and says, “Yeah right. You’re just afraid to come out [as a lesbian].” But I think that phenomenon truly does exist. It does appear to be the way sexuality operates for some women.

[read more...]

image by rankin

title by jens lekman

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